The Dominus Project

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Fr. Josh:  

I am the Father Josh Johnson, Pastor of Sacred Heart of Jesus Church in the Diocese of Baton Rouge and this is Holy Habits in the House. This idea came from a collaboration with the Dominus project with Franciscan Missionaries of Our Lady University right here in the Diocese of Baton Rouge. Growing up, I hated PSR, CCD, Catechism class. Whatever you want to call it, it was very difficult for me to have an encounter with God to learn about my faith, to grow in the context of a classroom with fluorescent light. It was just too much. But even when I began to have encounters with God, I would go home and it was difficult to have these conversations with my parents because when they were formed, it was just different.  A lot of times, what happens is kids might begin to go to retreat, encounter Jesus, and then not have any follow ups in the home. The home is the place where young disciples are called to be formed in their own domestic churches right there in their own houses. Through prayer, with friends, we decided, why don't we make a program that could be for families, for parents and children to watch together? So that they're all growing in holiness. They're growing in discipleship. They're growing in prayer, they're growing in virtue, they're growing in relationship with Jesus Christ and His church together.  That's where this project came from. Our desire, our hope, our goal is for you to become domestic disciples through forming holy habits in the house. I want to introduce to you the co-founder of this program and his lovely wife, doctor Brian Pedraza, and Adrienne. Thank you for joining us for the very first episode. 

Dr. Pedraza: Hey, Blessed. So Excited. 

Fr. Josh: So excited to have y'all in our Diocese in Baton Rouge.I want to also introduce you to our families, so can you just share us a little bit about yourselves? How did you meet, fall in love? In 60 seconds? 

Dr. Pedraza:  Yeah, great story, but yeah. You want to take it babe?  

Adrienne:  Yeah. We met in Upstate New York. Actually, I went to Cornell University in Ithaca, New York and flew the coop because I'm from Louisiana, but yeah, left for college, and Brian was living in Ithaca at the time, and we met one day at Daily Mass on Campus, one of my first days on campus.  

Fr. Josh: In the Mass, did you say, "Can I hold your hand for the Our Father?" at peace did you say "Can I give you a kiss cause in my culture we kiss people and say the rosary."

Adrienne: Laughing... But yeah, yeah. I don't know if you want to say anything else about?  

Dr. Pedraza:  No, I was in Ithaca, I was helping out start a campus ministry. Yeah. And a buddy of mine named Tim. He and I were doing all of these things to start the ministry. The first couple of weeks of campus ministry are the most important because students lock in their schedule. We were like, we're going to try and find all the people and be a part of their schedules in two weeks. He came home one day because we lived in a ministry house. He was like, Yo B, you're not going to believe this, but there's a freshman girl who told me, I need to go to mass with her. I was like, What? That's crazy? No way. I go to mass. Guess who it was.  

Adrienne:  

That was me.  

Dr. Pedraza:  

It was Adrienne, and we did a lot of ministry together. It was a friendship first.  

Fr. Josh:  

Yeah. And now you're married?  

Dr. Pedraza:  

Now we're married. Yes. Three incredible boys, a lot of broken stuff in our house. Been married almost 13 years.  

Father Josh:  

Thirteen years, wow. One question. I love the Bible. I know y'all love the Bible, right? And so if you go back to any particular story in the Bible, any time in history, any person, what time in history would you go? What place would you visit and who would you talk to in the Bible? And why?  

Dr. Pedraza:

Oh, that's easy for me. Okay. I want to go talk to St. Joseph. He's my man. He's my favorite Saint. That's why we named our first son after him. Yeah. In college, I was part of a fraternity, but it was based on Christianity. We were the apprentices of St. Joseph. The line that really got me is "I want to learn how to be a man from the man who taught Christ."  

You think about our Savior in his divinity, but also in his full humanity, who is it that taught him what it's like to be a man? Yeah. It was St. Joseph. That's the guy from all eternity, the father trusted his son to, in his humanity to take care of him. So wanting to be a husband and father was like, I've got to get closer to Joseph. I want to know his heart. I want to be like that, have those virtues. That's it for me.  

Adrienne:

Yeah. similarly, I think the first thing that I thought of was the wedding feast at Cana. That was our gospel for our wedding day. Yeah, just to be a part of the Lord's first miracle, to be there with Momma Mary, who's always telling us to listen to the Lord, and to be present with her in that moment.  

Father Josh:  

The part I want, I want to taste that wine, what did it taste like? Goodness. There's so much too because they filled the jars to the brims or the jugs to the brim. There was so much. I want to see what Jesus danced like, too, you know he could dance. You know they're at a party. You know he drank wine, too, because people in the Bible, they said this about Jesus, they said he was a drunkard. Obviously he wasn't a drunkard, but because he feasted and fasted, they made comments about him like that.

Father Josh:

I would go to Genesis and I would go back to the garden. Back to the beginning. I want to see what the garden was like. I want to see Adam. I want to see Eve. I want to see the serpent. Was it a dragon? Was it a snake? Did it look like a person? What was that experience like? But also how beautiful was creation like, the world prior to the fall? Yeah. The trees, the water, the fish, that's the kind of stuff I want to see.  

Adrienne:  

Oh, yeah. Pretty cool. And was it really an Apple or was it a strawberry? It's hard to know.  

Fr. Josh:

I don't know. Can I go find out?  

Okay. You both set the scene, and I didn't. I feel bad now. I like that, though. That's probably different temperaments personality stare.  

Fr. Josh:

Today I want to talk to about relationships. You're obviously in a relationship with each other with this Diocese with the church, but you're also in a relationship with the most important person in your life and in mine. That's God, Jesus Christ. Yeah. And one of my favorite saints of many, is Mother Teresa of Calcutta. And many years ago, Mother Teresa of Calcutta was talking to the missionaries of charities, sisters, brothers and priest. She wrote them a letter and in this letter, she said to them, "I'm worried about you. I'm worried that some of you have not met the Lord."

To set the context: The Mission of Charity sisters. They have a soup kitchen right here in Baton Rouge right down the street. So I encourage our parishioners to go to it, to volunteer there. There's a woman shelter. They do some of the most difficult work this summer, we're doing a summer camp with them. They are just the real deal. They live in absolute poverty and solidarity with the poorest or the poor. They don't have AC. They have lived the radicalized life of Jesus. They are some fierce women. I did go and serve and work with them in Calcutta, years ago.   I lived in Calcutta, worked with them there, and it's even way more difficult there. It's the slums, it stinks, it's dirty, it's hard. There's violence it's fighting, it's a lot. These women have chosen to live this kind of a life for the love of God. Yet, Mother Teresa of Calcutta says to them, "I'm worried that some of you, sisters, after all these years, still haven't encountered Jesus. You haven't seen with your own eyes. That's right. The way that Jesus looks at you, you haven't heard with your own ears."

Fr. Josh:

What Mother Teresa is getting at is that We worship a personal God. He's not out there, a creator who just created the world and left us to just do on our own.

He wants to be in relationship with us. How do we cultivate relationship with Jesus and specifically, particularly as individuals within a family and as a family?

Because if she say this to sisters, how much more can I as a pastor say this to people who live in the world, we're busy and we're not formed in theology or the spiritual life? Jesus. Relationship. Let's talk about it. 

Dr. Pedraza:  

Sure. 

Dr. Pedraza: 

Yeah. Yeah. Go for it, baby. You're the burning furnace of charity in our home.  

Adrienne: 

Yeah. I think of, you know, relationships, family relationships, and you mentioned we're in a relationship with each other here. I think, if you're married to someone and you don't sit and spend time with that person, you know, I think we can get so busy sometimes we're passing ships, you know, but having the time set aside, you spend time getting to know each other's hearts and spending time each other's dreams and desires and where they're really at is really, really important. 

Fr. Josh:

So, but you're a family, you have kids. You have work. Yeah. How do you make that happen?  

Adrienne:

Right. You got to be intentional about it and carve time out and schedule babysitters and things like that. So, if we're going to prioritize our relationship in that way, how much more important is it that we're prioritizing our relationship with the Lord on a daily basis, finding that time, not just on Sunday, not just Sunday for an hour at mass.

Fr. Josh:

You're saying, Oh, yeah. Even in the home. Sure. Yeah, 100% true. We can pray in places outside of church.  

Adrienne:  

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, getting to Mass on Sunday is a total priority in our house, you know, but on a daily basis, making sure that we are spending time with the Lord and that our boys, our three kids, know that that's also a priority for us, so I can think back to when they were all younger. And I'm better in the morning for my prayer time, so Brian would just hold down the fort and I would lock the door, and Mommy is just not available.  

Dr. Pedraza: 

She's spending time praying, like she needs this. You just hear all the screams outside of the door.  

Adrienne:

Yeah. So, you fight for your own relationship and spend time together, how important it is to also fight for your own personal relationship with the Lord, which often times looks like setting that time, setting aside the time to really spend with him, you know, in prayer and filling up. 

Dr. Pedraza: 

When it's all said and done for us, and I think we would stake our claim on this. Jesus comes first. That's the most important thing because we want our kids to go to heaven. We want our kids to be saints, we want to be a holy family. Forget all the accolades of things that we've ever done. The most important thing is that we would be in union with God. But like you can't give which you don't have, you know. So having this relationship with Christ comes first, so much so that there's another family that we learned from while we were dating each other and they were missionaries, and the couple would call each other mi segundo amor. You're my second love. Which means there's always a first love, know what I mean?

Sometimes we'll remind ourselves of that. You're my second love. Yeah. We just want to keep focused on the Lord so you got to fight for the prayer time. Then even that relationship has got to overflow into your family life. So we're always trying to talk about the Lord to our boys. I mean, you've been great at having the boys even take some prayer time each day. Right. Even though they're young, They keep track of time, they turn on a little timer.

Fr. Josh: 

To your point. Kids can have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Yeah. And the blessed mother appeared in Fatima to Jacenta and Francesco. They were kids. One was like eight or 9-years-old, I think, and she invited them to a consistent structured prayer life as a child. I think sometimes we set the bar like super low for kids and we think, Oh, Whenever they get to high school, then we're going to start encouraging them or when they get to college or they have their own families, but like little kids can begin to pray in their own unique imaginative way. Right. Cultivate a relation with God as well.  

Dr. Pedraza:

Oh, yeah, and maybe sometimes are even more disposed, right to being with the Lord, just like the child like hearts, right that they have. They're not jaded. Yeah. They're not jaded. They're going to connect with the Lord me.

Fr. Josh:

I love what she said earlier, about sharing your desires. It's not just about when we pray. It's not just about a bunch of Hail Mary's, Our father's, Glory Be's. While those are very beautiful wrote prayers, these are beautiful. Jesus Christ said wrote prayers. They're good. He taught us the best prayer that the Church has, the Our Father.  

But you say sharing your desires about talking to God as if God is a person and also listening to God share his desires with us as well, is just as important.  

Yeah. How do we listen to God? 

Adrienne:

Through the scriptures, I mean, primarily, I think that's a part of our daily prayer time, is getting in the word and then helping our boys do that too. I think that's a practice that we've tried to develop with them. They read scripture on their own, with their prayer time, but as a family, we'll read through the Sunday mass readings together before Mass like the Monday before the Sunday mass, and we'll choose a little verse from the week, the boys pray with it all week long. All week long, they're listening to that verse and then on Sunday, they're like HEY, when they hear it, when they hear it proclaimed at mass.

Fr. Josh:

That is so practical, too, right? And engaging for the kids, to then be able to go to the liturgy and hear that verse. So, is it just the Gospel or do you do the readings first and second?  

Adrienne:  

Well, we do all of it. 

Dr. Pedraza:

Everybody has a vote as to what the verse of the week is going to be. Then Daddy comes home from work and picks. 

Adrienne:

So, they're an active part of it, too, right? What did the Holy Spirit say to you? What stuck out to you and why do you think it's important for our family this week? So they have to kind of pick their brains and figure it out, substantiate it a little bit, and then Daddy has the ultimate say. 

Dr. Pedraza:

Yeah. Prayer takes practice. I just had a daddy date with our oldest Joseph and I bought him a prayer journal for last Lent because I knew he was trying to read the Bible and he's really good at picking stuff out of it, but I wanted to make sure that he was growing in his ability to hear the Lord's voice. He brought his journal with us to breakfast and I was sitting down and flipping through it and I had told him, this is what I do.  

First thing is I just remind myself that Jesus is here. He's here right now. That way, it's not just prayers, just checking a box. I'm trying to get through this as quickly as I can, but Jesus is here. Then I prayerfully read the passage, and then I just close it and just say Lord, what are you trying to say to me right here? Then I had him write out, what do you think Jesus is trying to say in that scene? What do you think Jesus trying to say to you? Right now, then in your journal, just be like Dear Jesus and Let's pour out your heart. In this one passage, he was starting the gospel of Matthew, and I read and I hope he doesn't mind that I'm revealing tiny bit of your journal. Sorry, son. But basically read He read the birth of Jesus and he wrote Jesus, you came to save us as a baby. Jesus, you come to save us now in the Eucharist. Help me to always love you in the Eucharist. That was straight from his own heart, you know, I was just like, Okay. 

Fr. Josh:

How old is Joseph?

Dr. Pedraza:

There's some dust in the air right now. He's 11.

Fr. Josh:

He's not a theologian. Yeah. He's not a scripture scholar, he's not a mystic, we know he's a kid and even as a kid, he's already beginning to cultivate this personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but also because he's seeing his parents do the same.

One of my other favorite saints, again, I have a bunch. I feel bad if I leave him out, but St. John Paul the great. You love him as well.  One of the things about his life that really speaks to me often is his sister, you know, passed away, his mother died when he his little kid, his brother died when he was a kid, and it was just he and his dad for many years. And I've been to his house in Poland, and there's a living room, a bedroom, and a kitchen, and the bedroom, there's two beds, twin beds and his dad slept on one, he slept on the other, and he said every day he would wake up in the middle of the night, and he would see his dad on his knees praying the rosary and reading scripture.

No matter whether or not it was a good time or bad time, he was sick, or he was well. His wife just passed away, his other son died and he is grieving.

He was happy, he was joyful, sorrowful, whatever he was feeling, he was always praying. Consistently, he would always pray, no matter what.  He always also went to mass, no matter what. And so when his father died when John Paul was 20, and he felt orphaned. Many of his friends were killed. John Paul had a very difficult childhood, a very traumatic childhood.  

The Nazis murdered many of his closest friends, arrested them, and the Communists began to persecute them after the Nazis left. He was struggling with his faith, and specifically, and particularly with the Blessed Virgin Mary. He didn't understand all that the Church teaches on Mary.  

It was a Sunday, and he said, What am I going to do today? I'm grieving. I'm all by myself, and he said, I'm going to go to mass, because that's what Dad did. I saw my dad do it because dad always did it, no matter what.  That's what I'm going to do so.

I think for parents to just trust that your witness will speak.  It will plant sees that you may or may not see in your lifetime, right? His dad did not see John Paul's relationship with Mary grow to maturity while he was on Earth. His dad did not see him become the Pope. He saw from Heaven, but not on Earth. But like those seeds that were planted from his father's witness is why we have St. John Paul the Great and all the gifts he's left for the church today.  

Father Josh:

And so, for you as a couple, seeds that you are planting in your home right now, by your own commitment to prayer together as a family, for meals, throughout the week, individually protecting that time, your kids will always remember that.  

I think that I just want to encourage our families at home. Trust in the small things, little things. I'm asking you to hold it every day. Yeah. I'm just asking you to give God something every single day and trust that he can do a lot with that. 

Dr. Pedraza:

Yeah. I mean, when your spending time with your spouse, it's one thing to say, like, Oh, I'm doing the dishes and Adrienne's folding the laundry and it's like, Oh, we’re spending time together, this is great? I mean, it can be great. But that's only great if we have already spent time together like one on one on a date, actually having a chance to converse and be in communion with one another, that's what makes those other times really beautiful for us. Knowing that that's the way it works for us and knowing that the Lord is the first love. We've got to put in that time. I brought a little treat for you, Father because you may not remember this, but when you invited me to speak to the men's conference at your last parish, there must have been 100 dudes aged 18 to 90 in that room. I didn't even plan this, but I brought this letter. I didn't plan to cry as much as I did, but I brought this letter that you wrote for me, sweetheart(speaking to Adrienne).

Dr. Pedraza:

This was the year before we got married. I just tried to read these few sentences at the beginning, and I just couldn't get it out. The Holy Spirit was like, boom and the next thing you know, all these dudes were crying in there. It's because of this. This came straight from your heart, babe. You said, I know that this relationship is the most important way that He shows his love for me, and for that, I'm so thankful.  When I read that, I was like, Oh, that's so sweet.  

But then she says, but I also know and have come to know more, that you will never be able to completely fulfill me. Only He can do that.  

I think I always knew this, but it really hit my heart at Palm Sunday prayer vigil. And so you go on to say that knowing that the greatest gift that you give me, as your husband, is that you would give yourself to the Lord again more fully. That's the greatest gift that you give to me, and that's the greatest gift you give to our boys.  

And yeah, I just know the Holy Spirit showed up. I mean, I feel it right. It's beautiful. It's like, is somebody cutting onions in this place?!  

But The Lord comes first. When you actually do that and you enter into relationship, you love your spouse better, and if you want to teach your kids to really grow in the faith, and teach might not be the right word, form, help your kids live the reality that is God, then you got to have it first, you know? You got to have it. 

Fr. Josh:

So takeaway for our families, I think a practical takeaway is to cultivate this relationship with the Lord, this intimacy with the Lord, where it's not just a transactional thing where we're just asking for things, which we should do.  

We're not just thanking Him which we should do. We're not just saying, I'm sorry, like we should do, but actually, sharing hearts with God and hearing his heart.  

I would like to invite our families, this month, to do the practice of looking at the readings for the next Sunday's mass. From the first reading, the responsorial psalms, the alleluia, the second reading, the gospel, as a family, do this practice of prayer and encourage each person to pick a verse, as you all do, and then have someone in the family then pick the verse for that week and then see what the Lord has to say.  

We're actually listening to Jesus all week long in preparation for the greatest prayer, which is the mass.  Y'all cool with that if we have that as a practice for the week?  

Dr. Pedraza:  

That sounds great. Yeah and be open to whatever.  

Fr. Josh:  I'll end with this. My anniversary time, you'll see this a few months from now, but like, my anniversary was yesterday, my ten year anniversary and the office of readings, priest we promised to pray five times a day the liturgy of the hours, which is the psalms, and a bunch of scripture verses and the office readings yesterday, as I was praying in my chapel was, song the songs.  I just I felt as I was reading these words, it was sometimes me talking to Jesus, but this time it was like him talking to me.

He was like, I want to see your face more. I want to hear your voice more. I can hear him say that to me like, Josh, like, I want more of you. Like, we have a relationship, that's good, but I want, I desire more.  

Fr. Josh:  

I was in the chapel just like, Okay, Jesus, like, you have me again. I feel like I'm falling more in love with him all over again. From his word and I guess all the stuff I read. But those few verses, I can sit with the rest of the month.  

Jesus, just, give us the grace to see your face and to hear your voice and your word as a family. As we spend time, spending time this week with the upcoming readings from next Sunday's gospel. Help us to encounter you, to fall in love with you and to stay in love with you because only you satisfy. We ask this prayer in your Most Holy name. Amen. Amen.  

In the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Amen.  

Fr. Josh:

Pedrazas, thank you all so much.  

The Pedrazas:

You’re a blessing,  

Fr. Josh:

Thanks. God bless.

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